Breakaway

 

Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy…
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray
I could breakaway

We have our respective comfort zones. Mine for six years was the first job I had since I became of legal employment age. Had been told I was lucky; we could say that. It was an entry-level position but it paid for college and for some luxuries my parents would have not tolerated.

The early half of my tenure with the company was generally ok. I report to work and do tasks with enthusiasm – ‘bigger’ tasks beyond my job description were challenges that used to give me a sense of importance which my title never gave me.

Sense of importance to my employer; that was what I lost I think. Not that I was indispensable though; never was. But a personal sense of importance is, well, important for an employee’s morale – our firsthand asset. I’m not saying that praises be lavish or appreciation be manifested. As I’ve put it, it is personal. Either you feel it, or you don’t. To further clarify, I believe that companies hire because some things vital to its operations need to be done. One would should not be hired if the job he/she would perform is not essential to the company and there would be no hiring if the existing manpower could perform the task efficiently. If there’s nothing to do or if someone else could likewise do what you are expected to do, there’s no need for you.

My workplace has become far from being a comfort zone. What I used to consider challenges, I have come to loathe as mere overload. Organizational plans that were for years but in the first place were not necessary to be long-term have lost appeal to me. I have doubts whether what I do are really needed. It became more like I needed to report to work simply because I was in the company roster. At first it seemed to be the hopelessness for a promotion that is disheartening. They say, when you’re at the top, there’s no way but down. If there’s no way up, there’s a way out – it’s an option. Every organization has flaws within. But it isn’t just about the organization, it’s more about me. I know I have a different calling from the beginning and the discomfort I felt is worsened by the guilt of becoming less productive each passing day because admittedly, I have other priorities.

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jetplane
Far away…

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging with revolving doors
Maybe I don’t know where they’ll take me…

It is my dream to work in the tourism and travel industry particularly in an airline. I made the first move on November 2009 and haven’t been fortunate though. The refusal came in my inbox 3 days after the application was sent. That was unwanted but nonetheless expected. Of the reasons I could only speculate, I consider which is apparent and justifiable for me: lack of relevant experience. And that is what I’ll be working to gain.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.
Make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and breakaway.

I quit my job that had been a steady source of funds. Then again, that was it – just steady. But it wasn’t easy to give up.

Teaching, the momentary backup was neither financially rewarding. There are no paid leave credits and during semester breaks, payroll goes on break as well. This is tough but trains me to be more rational with my resources – something that barely crossed my mind in the past six years.

It is a long way ahead and getting there might take some time but the first step was taken and the chase towards a dream is always worth it – I’d like to believe.

… Out of the darkness and into the sun.
But I won't forget the place I come from…
…Out of the darkness and into the sun.
But I won't forget all the ones that I love….

At times when we lose motivation, our friends keep us going. We can say that they were among if not the most significant reasons why we are holding on. And no way in our lives shall we always sail smoothly. Even so, when we decide to breakaway, there are two things we keep with us: lessons and friends.