Now Hiring: Call Agent (Credit Collection)
Qualification: Must be rude; paranoid is an advantage
This is a transcribed conversation that took place one regular morning at work. Names were changed for security.
SCENE 1
(Local 123 rings)
Emerson: MIS, Good morning!
Rudy a.k.a Rude Agent: Hi! This is Rudy from Some Bank. May I speak with Mr. Sid please?
Emerson: For a while please… (Calls Sid’s name since they share the same line)
(Scenario: Sid’s cube is behind Emerson’s hence the latter would not know whether Sid’s in his area unless he turns and tilts his head)
Dee whose cubicle’s next to Sid’s yells back, “He’s out”
Emerson: Sorry, he went out
Rudy: Why did I just hear you call him? Sounds like he’s just beside you
Emerson: Sir, I didn’t turn to look to his place and just called his name. Incidentally he’s not there.
Rudy: But I heard you! You must be hiding him!
Emerson: I wouldn’t be arguing with you any longer if he’s really here! But he’s not! Now if you want, you go here to check him personally and I’ll reimburse your bus fare! Damn you!
(Phone slammed)
SCENE 2
(Line 456 rings)
Josephine: MIS, Good morning!
Rudy: Yes, Mr. Sid please…
Josephine: He’s not in the office at this moment…
Rudy: Ah… By the way, who’s the lady I’ve spoken with in local 123?
Josephine: That’s Emerson
(Disclaimer: Emerson’s ladylike voice is inborn)
Rudy: No, the lady I’ve spoken with…
Josephine: You’ve spoken with Emerson. His voice naturally sounds like a lady’s…
Rudy: It can’t be. You must be lying!
Josephine: Sir, Mr. Sid’s not here. You better call line 123 again maybe an hour later to check if he’s back since you don’t seem to trust any of us here. Goodbye
SCENE 3
(Line 123 rings again not long after. Dee picks up this time)
Dee: Good morning!
Rudy: Yes, I’m looking for Mr. Sid …
Dee: Sorry, he’s currently out for fieldwork
Rudy: Why? You guys are not consistent! First, ‘he’s out’. Another, ‘he’s not in’. Now you’re saying he’s doing field. I cannot believe all of the employees in your company are liars! Blah! Blah! Blah!
Whew! Isn’t he a darling?
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