i can wait, time won’t
There was the crossroads; a major one which I had dealt with so far. If you had been following this blog for some time, you could have read a couple of posts on how dragging my job has become.
Early on when I realized that the pressures at work are eating me, I contemplated the circumstances and came up with a rather frail decision to resign by the deadline I set for myself.
Certainly my job wasn’t a complete waste. Professionally, I was privileged to not only join the civil service but that it is the industry I pursued after high school, considering that I was then 18 years old with only a certificate that is technically not a college degree. Indeed it was a feat among the distinguished few achieved so far by our batch and which my previous mentors commend.
My job gave me the advantage of better understanding of theories taught at my present school thus earned for me not only certain privileges but respect from younger classmates and faculty members. (Speaking of ‘young’, it recently hit me that few of our instructors are actually younger then me). For several times this blog has also been a testimony of the good times I had with my work colleagues; there were the outings and other recreational activities which we enjoyed doing together. Salary wasn’t very rewarding but it did pay for my education since I entered formal college in 2003 not to mention the few needs and wants I acquired for myself.
But then I came to where my path forks and it necessitated a choice. There was dilemma that’s like a bus I know would drop me off at some point but which I boarded and rode along nonetheless. I am serving a company which prevailing policies would require a college diploma prior granting a promotion; with which I have no objection. But since I could attend school only after office hours, obtaining a diploma is the prize in the still dim distance because even though I could track my progress with the course curriculum, I cannot forecast when or whether my remaining units shall be made available in the evening schedule.
Five years in the company to which I credit the experience. Eight years since graduating from high school; the first 2 gave me credentials enough to land a job, the next 6 were spent striving for a college degree. I used to be the youngest in class, now I’m among the seniors. Come summer next year my sibling will also enter college. Then I knew my education should wait no longer for it had unwillingly taken backseat to my office job long enough. I can wait, time won’t.
Of all the advices my friends gave me, Bert’s made a mark: “Weigh the circumstances carefully, decide when you’re composed. And when you’ve come up with a decision, stick to it. No ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ because if you doubt, you might regret it afterwards”. So when my superiors summoned me a day after I’ve forwarded a letter, I already knew what I wanted; really wanted.
*****
Since a couple of weeks ago, I am a fulltime student again with 34-unit load entailing consecutive classes from morning until early evening. There’s a lot of schoolwork to do and adjustments to cope with time and money-wise. So far I’m happy to be back to school with a renewed spirit. I am now trekking the path I chose for myself. When my study leave expires by the end of the semester, I’ll return to our company with revitalized mindset. I might continue farther along or maybe another crossroads awaits me there.
